Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
