Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
