Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have post one night stand depression
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