I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
