Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I would ride that face into the sunset
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
