Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Bring me that man meat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas