Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on

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(631): He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on http://tfl.nu/fevt

Replies (37) Good night (1616) Bad night (1109)
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(850): View more from Florida

Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

(1-850): View more from Florida

Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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(850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot

Replies (80) Good night (4152) Bad night (781)
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(616): View more from Michigan

The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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(616): The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes. http://tfl.nu/pvjr

Replies (43) Good night (3438) Bad night (1105)
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(914): View more from New York

Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.

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(914): Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine. http://tfl.nu/4xx7

Replies (8) Good night (765) Bad night (6885)
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(404): View more from Georgia

A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

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(404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp

Replies (16) Good night (7769) Bad night (998)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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(859): The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know. http://tfl.nu/3jb2

Replies (17) Good night (5924) Bad night (781)
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(914): View more from New York

Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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(914): Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him http://tfl.nu/h9ln

Replies (23) Good night (6164) Bad night (1723)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

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(506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy

Replies (6) Good night (995) Bad night (2378)
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(386): View more from Florida

Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

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(386): Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mad5

Replies (7) Good night (1601) Bad night (718)
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(804): View more from Virginia

have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with

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(804): have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with http://tfl.nu/vxai

Replies (6) Good night (1796) Bad night (680)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".

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(604): You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him". http://tfl.nu/d338

Replies (5) Good night (2326) Bad night (671)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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(+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g

Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (1203)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there

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(301): You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there http://tfl.nu/jnb5

Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (334)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.

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(202): When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast. http://tfl.nu/8acz

Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (1196)
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(425): View more from Washington

So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.

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(425): So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy. http://tfl.nu/7bpm

Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (349)

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