my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...