took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough