She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.