I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
