My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
