Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
