Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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