I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
