I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
