True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
