i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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