I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
