I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
