I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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