I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize