remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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