i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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