This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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