so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
