Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
40s are totally the cure
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
