I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize