I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
