I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my nose is crying tears of wow.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
