I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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