that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
