Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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