I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize