my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
