my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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