There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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