We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
