Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
