So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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