my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize