my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
