My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
