I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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