she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.