woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hippo gnu deer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That's what I'm talking about
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character