i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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