i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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