please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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