i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face