I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.