Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When are your genitals available?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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