oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
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im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free