Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?