I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
