Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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