I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
