Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
