we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
