Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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