i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
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My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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