And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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