oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
