In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
