The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
