One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
